First, the ordinary: Cocoa butter lotion, anago/alata samina, magi cubes, corn meal, plantain, fufu powder, palm oil, PK chewing gum, fresh ginger, cassava, cocoyam, crabs, kontonte and beef. The list is endless.

The extraordinary, ridiculous, bizarre and simply wild items include: Akpeteshie, palm wine, kawu, goat intestines, ayilo (clay), blue (for washing clothes), chewing sticks and kenkey. But I also saw a mortar and pestle. You might wonder: ‘In this fufu powder day and age?’ Of course! What do stubborn unrepentant fufu eaters care when they’re bent on eating the "original" gooey stuff? Some even dare to pound fufu gently on high-rise floors. Incorrigible!

I also saw a grinding stone and its whatmacallit baby stone! Oh, you’re thinking: "In this era of blenders?" Yep!

And then …. I spotted the almighty bentoa of old! Plus, all sorts of concoctions for preparing enema. You know how we do!!

As I approached the back corner of the store toward the storage area, I experienced a certain caressing odour hovering overhead. I stopped! There, I witnessed a congregation of kobi, kako, Keta schoolboys, assorted smoked fish – some curved with fins/tails boldly tucked inside the mouth, smoked bush meat in the akrantea family, wele (robbed from Ghana’s leather industry), tilapia and salted pig feet (‘nane’). There is everything! Any wonder some Diasporan Ghanaians are lost to us and might never return to live in Ghana? They are completely at home here! They do not miss Ghanaian food; they have it all!

An important footnote: I did not find a single grain of ‘American rice’ in any Ghana shop! Diasporan Ghanaians patronize Thailand rice, mostly. So why is it that in Ghana, we are bombarded with ‘American rice?" Out here, I see no indication that rice is even grown in America! It’s therefore about time we fell head-over-heels in love with Ghana rice! The ‘American rice’ advertisements on Ghana’s TV and radio are irritating and do not help to direct the taste buds of our people toward our home-grown rice, which is as good as any other!

Ghanaian fashion in the Diaspora:

Having been disconnected from home for so long, Diasporan Ghanaians have no clue what is considered fashionable by the dictates of dynamic Ghanaian fashion. They therefore hold on to the same styles for years on end, even decades, in tired old boxes, suit cases and on hangers at the far back of closets. These are considered treasures; guarded jealously. Fashion disasters therefore occur so easily.

The obvious way fashion blunders are exhibited is through women’s kaba styles. The sleeves of yester-years, which no one in their right fashion senses will dare wear in Ghana, are worn with reckless abandon among the Diasporan female species. You have to hold your breath not to laugh out loud, lest you would appear rude and uncivilized. And the worst part: they do not know that they are fashion disasters! They seem to believe that they are on top of things and look grand!

For the sake of maintaining the integrity of Ghana’s fashion throughout the world, these unofficial ambassadors of our beloved country must be called to book or else they will cause us major embarrassment in the international community, putting unnecessary wrinkles to our fine image. Mr IGP, send some top-notch police officers throughout the Diaspora to arrest all Ghanaian fashion criminals and bring them home. On arrival, each should be assigned a seamstress to quickly sew modern styles for them to take back. The downside of this suggestion: the police officers may never return to Ghana to report back to base! They will become lost in transit!

The places to see the abominable fashions are at parties and church. Ghanaian parties are common during which our foods feature prominently – banku and tilapia seem to have become a must-food at parties. Jolloff, kelewele and red-red are the hot favourites of non-Ghanaians.

Ghanaian churches are a phenomenon here, sprouting ‘by heart.’ I just did a conservative count in one city. I came up with fifteen Ghanaian churches. Some of the names are as fascinating as the ones in Ghana. A few are: Jesus Power Assemblies of God and its breakaway The Redeemed Assemblies of God; Ramseyer Presbyterian and its splinter group Ghana Presbyterian. The churches here also break up through idiotic disagreements! Others are: Action Faith Ministries, Light House Chapel, Church of Pentecost, House of Faith and Power of Faith.

The impression I’ve formed from talking to several people is that although they might not be in a hurry to relocate back home, Ghana is definitely in their hearts. There is a deep desire to ‘do something’ back home by embarking on ‘projects.’ In plain English, ‘projects’ translate into building houses. Undoubtedly, the vibrancy of the housing industry in Ghana is partly due to the many Ghanaians outside who forgo much comfort so they can build or purchase a house to ensure that some-day one-day when they return, they’ll have a place of their own to call ‘home’.

You might have observed that several of the newer houses in Ghana have foreign architecture with fewer windows. My suspicion: the designs of the dream houses of our Diasporans are heavily influenced by what they see ‘abroad.’ These are then transplanted to Ghana without much modification, forgetting that ours is a tropical climate where it is summer all year long!

A friend maintains that houses being constructed with ‘abrokyiri’ funds really belong to those at home who never left. I’ve pondered over this and it does make sense. If most of the ‘abroad’ Ghanaians don’t return, then their building projects becomes their unintended contributions to their relatives and to mother-Ghana. We thank them! If lucky, their corpses might be shipped back home and laid in state, briefly, before heading to the cemetery. And, if their children never return, lost to Ghana? Well, tough luck! Ghana benefits.

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